Do You Trust Yourself?

This morning, I worked on trying to figure out my core message once again. It sent me on a journey of diving deeply into myself...

 

I had attended a workshop on that topic last week, and it was a good workshop, that came with a really good workbook.... But.... once again, I felt like being confined when I worked my way through it: into one message only. But I am more than one message.... And I don't just want to target people.... I understand the reason behind the method, because of course I want to help people, that's the purpose of my business :-) but I don't just want to target people, and I don't want every piece of output that I produce to be just aimed at targeting people. I enjoy writing too. About various things. Such as life. But that is not very target group focused. I can understand why we do the whole targeted messaging thing... It's how we find the people who might benefit from our message. It's how we earn money, right? Neither are a bad thing. 

 

But I still can't shake off the confinement, nor the tragedy of that approach. Why tragedy? Because I am not just doing this to target or help people, or to earn money. I am also doing it my way, because I am enjoying it! I love writing too. I love going deep! I love contemplating life! I love helping people. I love all of that.

 

There is no one method that solves problems for everyone. There are many methods. There is no one approach that is right. There is no one person that can help everyone. We all have a set of customers, people whom we can help. People who need us too. And according to best practise, I am meant to target that group. But I don't want to just do that. I don't want to narrow myself down to one way or one message, or a specific target group even. I want to write what's on my heart and what comes through to me at the time. I (naively?) want to trust that I will find the right people one day, those for whom I’m here. I don’t want to do the same stuff in a similar way for years to come! I could do that in any corporate job!

 

So when I sat down to finish my exercise from last week's workshop, I found myself getting angry... and instead of ignoring my feelings, I decided to role with them and see what might come up.

 

I found myself writing down my strengths.... Hm. Strengths are indeed a topic I care deeply about, and I love that I have found a tool in Human Design that helps to identify one's strengths. I would like to go into this a little bit, because figuring out mine was certainly one of my major life lessons so far.... Let's stay with this topic of strengths for a moment. Because maybe my contemplations can inspire you to think about yours too.

You see, I had always felt that I had no particular strengths. I was good at things, but nothing stood out as such. At least not to me. Other than maybe "I am good at learning". Because I am. I am self-taught in a lot of things. But that was the only one I could always think of, and to be honest, I was also always wondering if I had taught myself correctly or well enough... because how would I know if there wasn't maybe a better solution to a given problem?

 

Anyone else suffering from that infinity loop in your mind? 

 

So what are my strengths? Ok, I have an MBA, a good one too, but other than having finished it, I never saw it as a strength of mine. I couldn't identify with it. I always felt like I had finished my training successfully and well, but that I wasn't good at it as such. If this doesn't make sense to you, don't worry. I don't think it makes sense :-) But, it's how I felt.... 

 

After being so ill that I felt the need to radically change my life and leaving my job for an unknown future, I contemplated the question "what are my strengths?" a lot. 

 

And initially I couldn't value the list I came up with. It reads like this: I'm relatable. I have experienced and witnessed a lot. I am good at giving hope. I am good at offering a different perspective. I am good at seeing people, I am good at seeing how beautiful they are. I am good at helping people to see themselves in a different light, and that they shouldn't hide themselves from the world. I can always offer a different perspective because I can always see a different perspective. I am good at self-reflection (I am still working on the self-judgement part that can come with this gift :-) I am good at helping people to connect to their dreams and soul. I am good at showing them patterns they run, that stop them from being successful. I am good at helping people to understand that they are not necessarily in the wrong place. I am good at offering practical advice. And I feell it is my purpose to empower others.

 

But how are those strengths useful in a job? I couldn't see it. Today, I smile, because of course I can now! But it was a long journey to here.

 

It's not what I valued about myself. Because it's nothing one could get a degree in.... And then there are the doubts such "who needs my help, and is the above list even true?" My past self couldn't see the forest for the trees..... but that is not what I want to write about today. Today I want to write about my need to be free! In my messaging and everything else in my life. And that list of strengths up there is supporting that need.

I can sense the raised eyebrows.... How does this relate?? So let's take a deep breath before we dive deeper. Ah, depth. My nemesis and passion! The gate that Pluto defined in my Human Design chart on both sides :-)

 

So, this morning I got angry because I don't just want to follow one message, and because I don't want to put myself in a box, and because I don't want to fit in anywhere.

This is where people usually say: that's not how the world works, Kerstin. And to a certain degree, I even agree. My freedom stops, where other people's freedom starts.

 

Sorry, I need to deviate briefly: But you know what? There is a lot of people that don't give a sh*** about this. They take what they desire. They rape, they kill, they exploit, they lie, they steal, they start wars. All that in the name of them being right. And their freedom. At the expense of others. They take their idea of freedom and force it upon others. That is not what I mean by freedom. My freedom and not fitting into the system, doesn't mean the system is wrong. Nor does it mean that the system should pay for me. My freedom is my responsibility and ends where other peoples' freedom starts. We are each given a plot. Big enough. Not to inflate it with our egos. We can not always experience outer peace, nor can we control it. But we have choices regarding our inner peace. Usually more than we see or exert.

Freedom has always been my greatest desire, world peace my biggest dream. I know that it is, and probably only can be, an illusion. But it's still something we can strive for. Something we can contribute to. And the starting point is ourselves. When we are at peace, we don't fight with others. When we are at peace, we don't need to change others. It allows us to let be, and maybe even become curious about one another.

 

Freedom comes with a responsibility. Own your inner freedom, and allow others their freedom. The line is fine and gliding. It requires attention. For yourself and for others. There is a margin for error and room to grow. But don’t take the p***.

 

You can see, I am passionate about freedom. It's my main value :-) But let's go back to why I struggle with putting myself in a box of a trageted message, so I can attract my dream clients. 

So, in an ideal world I would have a core message that speaks to my target group, making life easy for me and them... And: there is nothing wrong with that! As long as it feels right or even great for you! And as long as it doesn't limit you, or confine you to a box!

 

I find myself limited by the idea though.... I want to help my people to connect to their dreams, so they can make them happen, because I strongly believe there are people out there who have the solutions for us humans and our planet that we need. And maybe that should be my core message and target group. I am here to connect people to themselves. And that could be my core message! Because I know my people aren't sure about their big dreams of creating a better world. They are sure about wanting to help to create a better world, but they are not sure how they could do that, they struggle to trust themselves.

 

But I don't want to put all my words through that filter! I am also here to live a life that is exciting to me too! So I have the energy to serve my people! And I am excited by helping people to connect to their dreams, making them happen and making this world a better place! 100%! But I am also excited by poetry! It invites us to reflect and feel inspired by it! I definitely want to share that too! I love talking about life! Oh and purpose!!! I love going deep with this and writing about it. So I will! I love teaching Human Design. Not as a teacher, I like to empower people to use it. I use it with my clients to get them their results, but why limit it to that?! I love sharing tools that help me, such as Lifebook. Not because I am affiliated with it, I am not, and I don't want to be, I want to simply want to share it because I like it. And I love to inspire people to think outside their box!

 

We need to dive into my Human Design briefly, to bring some context to my outside the box desires: 

• I have channel 57-20. It is also called the Channel of Now, and it simply means "to speak from my intuition or the present moment". It's how I create content. From the present moment. The words just flow. From the present moment and all that is. 
• I write for people who like to read long texts and dive deep about the mysteries of life (my gates 48 and 61), and I will keep doing that because I love it, despite enough people telling me that my texts are too long for today's busy people! I am not sure about that. I still read long texts :-)
• I have a 3/5 profile, and the three in there just has to try things out, and do its best to consider its failings learning. That was another life lesson for me... one I am still learning, but getting better at ;-)
• And to add to the experimenting.... My other channel is channel 29-46, the Channel of Experimenting....
• I am a Generator, I am here to respond and react to what comes my way. Often only listening to someone inspires me to create content! I have endless lists with topics I would love to write about! 

 

With this, let's loop back to my messaging: I certainly don't want to double-check if my words fit into my messaging box first! Everything in me rebels against that thought! I don't want to be strategic and targeting. I want to share my thoughts, from the NOW, and I am trusting that this approach will make sense one day. There is no room for negotiation inside of me on this. And with my above design snippets you can maybe see why. 

 

Not because I love what I write so much, or how I write it. I don't always. Or because I think it's perfect. Not the case either. BUT: I know from experience that improving things doesn't neccessarily make them better in my case. In fact, I often make it worse. With every iteration of trying to perfect my words. I am not meant to perfect things. Other people are (channel 48-16 people for example). But I am not. I am meant to speak from the Now and my inspiration. I have to trust, that my words might be useful for someone. As they are. And you know what, it feels good to me. I really enjoy working like this. It feels deeply aligned and satisfying (a way to know that you are on the right path as a Generator).

 

I don't fit into a messaging box. And I don't want to fit into one. I guess that was my learning today. And you know, I am so tired of the constant underlying implication everywhere that if you don't do something a certain way, you won't be successful. Steve Jobs envisioned a gadget that we could hardly comprehend in our minds at the time, and look how the ipod changed the world in as little as 20 years! It fitted in no box! Don't get me wrong, I am not the next Steve Jobs. And also, trusted and proven paths work. Clearly! But if they don't align with you, don't chose them if you don't have to. There is likely a path that no one has ever walked before and it is yours to walk, if this resonates with you. 

 

If you need help to understand yourself better, or you feel like you have a purpose, but can't quite grasp it, or you find it hard to trust yourself, I can help you. I am a trained Soul Purpose and Human Design coach. I am here to turn your story around, to help you write the next chapter differently. An empowered chapter. We look at your design, dreams, problems, passions and enable you to see your path. Because you are needed! You are here to change the world for the better. Large scale, small scale. That doesn't matter! Even if your impact was only small... you are here to have an impact. We all do. You matter. No one can do, what you can do, the way you do it.

 

Trust yourself x