Morning routines: reflections on my journey

I started playing with morning routines in 2021. I wasn't in a good state back then and scrolled the internet up and down in the hope for help. I came across Mindvalley, an online education platform that focuses on personal growth, wellness, and spiritual development and watched a lot of their free videos on YouTube. Vishen, the founder, talked in many about the benefits of a morning routine.

 

I liked the idea to start my day with something I enjoy or that is good for me. For the past three years, on most days, I got up early in the morning to start my day in a meaningful way. Meaningful to me. At first I played with suggestions from others - with more male type of morning routines of do, do, do, as well as more female morning routines of being and flowing.

 

My intial goal of having a morning routine changed to finding MY morning routine. One that would help me to connect to myself and set me up for the day. But by trying to find the perfect solution, I set myself up for failure :) and while I loved my morning routines, I didn't seem to be able to stick with them. Getting up and being physically present for my morning routines wasn't the problem. The problem was that I wouldn't stick to my plans.... (a theme in my life ;)

 

It's early in the morning here while I am writing this post. I am sitting in my garden with my early morning hot lemon water. The birds are singing, it's still pretty cool, the air is fresh, and I feel deeply connected and grateful. Grateful for this peace first thing in the morning. That I can slowly arrive in myself. Feel into this new day. Be inspired by it.  

 I have learned that the one element that hasn't changed in my morning routines has been this: enjoying having this time to become present, holding my hot lemon water in my hands, connecting to myself and this new day. Not wanting to do it the right way. Just enjoying this space and peace that I am able to feel. It always leaves me with a deep sense of gratitude. My days are completely different, when I allow myself to flow into the day like this. Welcoming the day in solitude, feeling into it, and what I need, and what I am capable of giving today.

 

A new day is a new opportunity full of possibilities. My life is the result of my daily choices. Certain things are fixed but there are so many more parts I get to choose. There are so many more possibilities than we can see when we rush through life or when we are fixed on certain outcomes. Connecting to myself, all that is, the present moment and the infinite number of possibilities and choices we have, has been a huge game changer for me.

Obviously we can't just flow through life, but for me it's been a blessing to flow into every day, before gathering myself and focusing on what this day is expecting of me. BUT.... I don't think it's what everyone needs. We all have different needs.

 

And I think that is one of the biggest problems we tend to have as humans: we follow and compare ourselves to others. Which in my opinion, is one of our fastest ways to let ourselves down and set ourselves up for failure. Maybe not failing at what we are doing in comparison to whoever we compare ourselves to. It can be motivating or inspiring! Maybe we aspire to be as fit as someone else. That can obviously be a good thing! But it becomes problematic when we ignore our own needs and circumstances. And often we don't trust ourselves enough to trust our own needs. Or are not aware enough of our own needs, because we are looking back on a life of coming last on our priority list.

 

Have you ever wondered what you need? Whether you need a morning routine? Maybe you don't need a morning routine at all. Maybe you don't share my troubles of being present and noticing what is inside you in a given moment.

 

Maybe you need a regular space to get rid of all the stuff inside you at the end of the day. And it would be so much more helpful to go running before bed time.

 

Or what would make you really happy, would be working on that book of yours that's been at the back of your mind, that you don't have time to write. Maybe a weekly writing day or morning, or daily hour, or 4 week holdiay, is what you need to find deep inner satisfaction and get the ball rolling on that dream of yours.

 

Or maybe you need structure around the things you don't like doing? That for example is an area I still need to face. My way. The way that works for me. And that requires me to play around and fail. And try again. Maybe the same way or in a different way.

I think it's worthwhile playing with best practice. But if it doesn't work for you, then I think we have to be open to exploring: am I held back by limiting beliefs and that's why I can't do it this way? Or is it just not my way? And if not, what is my way? There are endless possibilities of how things can be done. I think it's important to find the path that supports us best. Our own path. I personally think the days were we follow other people's examples are over. Not in all areas of life or careers, but in many. And most importantly, there are way more options than we consider. Depriving us of what is possible. Often because we feel the need to know our path, instead of taking the first step and see from there were the second step is going to go. 

 

Morning routines, or any routines, are a beautiful opportunity to practise this. It's either for us to allow us to embrace the concept of failing. And really, we never fail, we simply learn.

Obviously that can't be fulfilled in every area of our life. When we are at work for example, there are certain restrictions to our individual needs as we are working towards the companies goals and needs, and they can have priority over our own needs. Let's use the example of flexible working hours vs. not flexible working hours. It wouldn't make sense to give teachers or train drivers flexibe working hours. It just wouldn't work as their individual choices would be in conflict with the needs of those affected by their choices.

 

But we as individuals have a lot of choices: maybe I can agree more suitable working hours with my employer that creates win win situations. Or I can find a different employer. Let's say I am not a morning person as a teacher. Maybe teaching kids in the morning is not the only choice I have. It might just be the most obvious choice as it ticks all the boxes of financial security, stability and convenience. But a teacher can also tutor kids in the afternoon or teach adults in the evening, or create online courses and material, offer weekend workshops or train adults in companies. All more risky choices. But possibilities. Anyway, I am deviating into choices, possibilities and options :-)

To me, thinking about morning routines has been life changing. I benefit SO MUCH from getting up earlier and being in my own space. The whole day is so much better! I am a better person because of this time to myself. I greet my family completely differently - setting them up to having a better day too!

 

My biggest learning was, that if I focus on what I TRULY need, I benefit the most. I benefit less when I foucs on the choices that make sense. For example, I am trying to exercise three times a week as part of my morning routine too. I do a quick Yoga stretch routine five times a week as well - because my stiff body craves and benefits so much from those 10 minutes! But a space to be, is what I need, and benefit, most from.

 

And let's face it. We don't always have the chance to take the time to look after ourselves that well! I am not an advocate for "musts" or "rigidity" in the areas of our life where we have choices. I can see how they move us towards what needs to be down, and even towards our goals. But in my opinion, we equally need to take our circumstances into account, and sometimes the best is not what we can do. For example, up until four years ago, I could not have got out of bed early! My youngest was still waking during the night. I would have LOVED time for myself then too, but that just wasn't possible at 5am! And for some people 5am is never really an available time! And I think that is fine. It's finding what works best for you, that will get you furthest (AND that doesn't impact others negatively). 

 

Honour your needs. Find what supports you. To me, morning routines are simply the invitation to think about what could support you the most, if you did it regularly? Regardless of the time of day. What would you need and benefit from regularly or daily?

 

Trust yourself xxx